Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Well, I got some news

I got some news from the doctor.

My doctor and the pathologists have determined that I did not have a molar pregnancy. There were some chromosomal abnormalities that initially pointed that direction but after further more careful testing they determined it was not molar.

This is great news. 

My doctor still wants to proceed with caution. I am thankful she cares enough to do so. I will have another blood test tomorrow to make sure my pregnancy levels are still dropping. Once my level is below 10 (and we are hopeful it will be tomorrow) I will go for monthly tests for the next 6 months. If every month my level stays below 10 I will be released from this nightmare portion of life and free to try again.

We are thankful for your prayers and faithful encouragement. It is still (and I'm sure will be) a daily struggle.

Do you want to know something? Did you know that at my doctor's office when you have a baby you are billed for the delivery. In that bill are all the doctors visits and tests and what not. So, you pay one lump sum for the pregnancy.
Currently, I am receiving daily EOB's from our insurance company because when you lose a baby they go back and charge you for every office visit. So, every single day for the past week I have been given a daily visual reminder that I don't get a baby.

It totally stinks and there isn't a thing I can do about it. 

I will leave with a request. Actually, 3 of them.
1. Will you pray that my tests get and stay below 10. I really am ready to move on.
2. Will you pray for me as I deal with the mail each day? I did okay today, but yesterday was a magic meltdown kind of night.
3. Will you pray for protection for me on social media? I have a lot of pregnant friends. I have 4 that are due around our due date. It is hard. I don't want to shut down my facebook, or avoid it, or not talk to people or whatever - but I need protection. Maybe that those posts won't pop up on my newsfeed or something? I'm trying very hard to stay upbeat, but the honest truth is I downward spiral on every baby post. It's hard. I know many of you have walked that walk.

I ordered a necklace the afternoon of my D&C day. It finally came and I've been able to wear it.  I want to share it with you.

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