Another Update

Thank you to all of you who prayed for us last week during surgery and recovery. It was a long slow week, but I seem to be starting to feel more like myself again. However, our situation is not over yet. 

Last Friday the doctor called to tell me that part of the pathology report was back and that I had a partial molar pregnancy. This is rare and complicated and I don't want to to get in to it - you can look it up if you really want to know. You should know this though, it involves abnormal cells that can possibly lead to cancer. I had an appointment today because she thought the full result would be in and we would be able to start a course of action. 

 The full pathology report from last week's D&C still isn't available. They are running extensive tests on it to confirm that it was a partial Mohler pregnancy and not a complete Molar pregnancy. 

My doctor is planning on it remaining a partial Molar. 

The bad news is that because my Doctor didn't know it was a Molar pregnancy prior to the D&C there is a pretty good chance that she didn't get all of the cells and tissue when she was in there. This combined with the fact that I'm still bleeding quite a bit and that my pregnancy levels are still rather high I had to have a blood test done today to see if my levels have dropped. If they have not dropped I will have to get an ultrasound to see how much tissue is left and if there is any left I will have to have another D&C. We should know the results of the blood test before the weekend. 

Because we are assuming it was a partial Molar pregnancy I will have to get my blood drawn every Wednesday until my pregnancy levels are below 10 (I was at 500 last Friday). Once I am below 10 I will have my blood drawn every month until next January. This is to make sure they got all the abnormal cells. The abnormal cells can easily turn to cancer so this is why I have to go through all of this. 

We are not allowed to try to get pregnant for at least a year. Doing so could cause cancer. If I have to have another D&C there is a good chance there will be so much scar tissue that I won't be able to have any more babies. 

A Molar pregnancy is a freak thing. It is caused by chromosomal mix up. There is nothing we could have done to prevent it. If everything stays okay this year and we do decide to try again for another baby there is a very slim chance it would happen again. 

I'm still taking Motrin 800 for pain - mainly in the evening as I'm on my feet all day. I do have permission to pick up the girls again - so that's a relief. I'm also taking Ambien at night to help me sleep. The doc said she recommended it until I make it to the monthly blood draws. She said I should start to feel more comfortable with the plan once I make it to the monthly blood draws. 

I will let you know when I hear back about today's blood test. For me, that's the big thing I'm waiting for. The Doctor said she would call as soon as she knows. Please feel free to ask anything I wasn't clear enough about. We are doing okay - still sad but getting better.

Please continue to pray for us. Not only are we dealing with the miscarriage, but now all this on top of it. Greg has been an absolute rock though the whole thing so pray for continued strength for him. Pray for me as my body is still adjusting to all the rapid changes that have happened to it. I'm also behind in my school work and have 1000 papers to grade, and I'm concerned about the upcoming test results. Pray for Jadyn - we told her about the baby but remember she's only 5. She knows something is wrong but doesn't know it. She's very clingy right now (which is fine, but also a signal that she's not herself). 

Thank you for all your facebook and blog comments. Your words have been more encouraging than you probably know. Please don't stop! I frequently read back though them when I'm having a moment. 

We are still trusting and still know that God in in control. 

Stick with me.

As most of you know by now we've had a rough few days. On Friday I went in for a routine pre-natal appointment and the doctor couldn't find our baby's heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed the worst and we've been grieving ever since.
Tomorrow morning (7:30 am) I go in for a procedure to help my body through this difficult process. Needless to say, we are not looking forward to it and we are nervous.

But here is why I am blogging.
I have 2 things to share.

The first is this. We don't want to pretend like this baby never existed. We were lucky enough to have an early ultrasound where for about 15 minutes we got to watch the baby's heartbeat and see the baby move around. Because of this we need to acknowledge that we are the parents of 4 children. We have three here with us and one that has gone on ahead. We may not get to know the sex of the baby and even if we do we will keep it between the two of us, so we will call this baby 4. Our other kiddos are nick named by their Uncle Rod by birth order, so it only seems fitting to carry on the tradition. If and when we do decide to try again for another baby it will be our 5th.

The second thing I want to share is this: I had a come to Jesus moment tonight in the shower. We haven't been angry at God we've just been sad. Tonight I was thinking about the fact that we have other verses we've chosen for our girls - Jadyn's is Zeph 3:17, Jaycie is Mark 12:30, and Jemma is Joshua 1:9. We need a verse for baby 4. And just like that He gave it to me in a song. Shane and Shane. Psalm 145: 8-9 "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made." 

So, with one song, many tears and a long road ahead of us here we are - understanding that the Lord is abounding in steadfast love. He is good to all. If we believe that then we have hope. 

I have one request. If you stuck with me in the blog post would you let me know either with a facebook encouragement or a comment here on the blog. Will you pray for us tomorrow and there after as we walk through these deep waters? 

If we believe that God is always in control then we have to believe He is now too.
And we do.
-Greg and Jamie