Stick with me.

As most of you know by now we've had a rough few days. On Friday I went in for a routine pre-natal appointment and the doctor couldn't find our baby's heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed the worst and we've been grieving ever since.
Tomorrow morning (7:30 am) I go in for a procedure to help my body through this difficult process. Needless to say, we are not looking forward to it and we are nervous.

But here is why I am blogging.
I have 2 things to share.

The first is this. We don't want to pretend like this baby never existed. We were lucky enough to have an early ultrasound where for about 15 minutes we got to watch the baby's heartbeat and see the baby move around. Because of this we need to acknowledge that we are the parents of 4 children. We have three here with us and one that has gone on ahead. We may not get to know the sex of the baby and even if we do we will keep it between the two of us, so we will call this baby 4. Our other kiddos are nick named by their Uncle Rod by birth order, so it only seems fitting to carry on the tradition. If and when we do decide to try again for another baby it will be our 5th.

The second thing I want to share is this: I had a come to Jesus moment tonight in the shower. We haven't been angry at God we've just been sad. Tonight I was thinking about the fact that we have other verses we've chosen for our girls - Jadyn's is Zeph 3:17, Jaycie is Mark 12:30, and Jemma is Joshua 1:9. We need a verse for baby 4. And just like that He gave it to me in a song. Shane and Shane. Psalm 145: 8-9 "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made." 

So, with one song, many tears and a long road ahead of us here we are - understanding that the Lord is abounding in steadfast love. He is good to all. If we believe that then we have hope. 

I have one request. If you stuck with me in the blog post would you let me know either with a facebook encouragement or a comment here on the blog. Will you pray for us tomorrow and there after as we walk through these deep waters? 

If we believe that God is always in control then we have to believe He is now too.
And we do.
-Greg and Jamie