A few pictures

I have some pictures to post of the girls. It's time to return to our family blog spot. Before I do though I'd like to give you another update. My last blood test came back with my levels below 10. Which is great. So now I will go for blood tests the first Wednesday of each month for the next 6 months and if everything stays below 10 I will be released. Yay.

If you think about us would you pray now as we figure out how we are going to pay for all this? My surgery bill especially is causing problems. Our only options are to pay it in full within 6 mths (and the payment would be more than our mortgage) or put it on a medical credit card. We don't want to do either one (well we can't pay it in full...we are teachers people), so we are praying for another solution. And, would you keep praying for me? I'm having more good days than bad ones now, but the bad ones still come and are absolutely exhausting. Crowder's I AM is pretty much carrying me through.


Okay, there is no way to transition out of that one so here it is: awkward transition.

We enrolled Miss J for kindergarten today. WHAT?!? How can that be?
The twins will be 2 in two weeks. WHAT?!?!?!
Next week we are going to start transitioning Jaycie into a toddler bed. HOLY MOLY!!

I tried to take new pictures of them. Hahahaha. It didn't go well. I did get a couple of decent ones. They just really aren't in to sitting still or sitting together. :)

Jaycie at 23 months.

Jemma at 23 months

Jaycie snug between their chairs

Sweet happy Jemma - teething and with her rashy face. (Her face is slowly healing. It's been a looong process) 

Jadyn and Daddy playing in the snow last month.

 They piled the snow at the bottom so she could slide in to it.

 They are so good at letting me take pictures. I was inside the house taking picture from the window. :)

We are blessed. 

Well, I got some news

I got some news from the doctor.

My doctor and the pathologists have determined that I did not have a molar pregnancy. There were some chromosomal abnormalities that initially pointed that direction but after further more careful testing they determined it was not molar.

This is great news. 

My doctor still wants to proceed with caution. I am thankful she cares enough to do so. I will have another blood test tomorrow to make sure my pregnancy levels are still dropping. Once my level is below 10 (and we are hopeful it will be tomorrow) I will go for monthly tests for the next 6 months. If every month my level stays below 10 I will be released from this nightmare portion of life and free to try again.

We are thankful for your prayers and faithful encouragement. It is still (and I'm sure will be) a daily struggle.

Do you want to know something? Did you know that at my doctor's office when you have a baby you are billed for the delivery. In that bill are all the doctors visits and tests and what not. So, you pay one lump sum for the pregnancy.
Currently, I am receiving daily EOB's from our insurance company because when you lose a baby they go back and charge you for every office visit. So, every single day for the past week I have been given a daily visual reminder that I don't get a baby.

It totally stinks and there isn't a thing I can do about it. 

I will leave with a request. Actually, 3 of them.
1. Will you pray that my tests get and stay below 10. I really am ready to move on.
2. Will you pray for me as I deal with the mail each day? I did okay today, but yesterday was a magic meltdown kind of night.
3. Will you pray for protection for me on social media? I have a lot of pregnant friends. I have 4 that are due around our due date. It is hard. I don't want to shut down my facebook, or avoid it, or not talk to people or whatever - but I need protection. Maybe that those posts won't pop up on my newsfeed or something? I'm trying very hard to stay upbeat, but the honest truth is I downward spiral on every baby post. It's hard. I know many of you have walked that walk.

I ordered a necklace the afternoon of my D&C day. It finally came and I've been able to wear it.  I want to share it with you.

Holding Pattern

I'm sorry I haven't given an update - there's not too much to report. I heard from the doctor last week. My blood test showed that my levels had dropped dramatically - which is great. I had to have an ultrasound anyway because of my bleeding. I didn't hear anything back about the ultrasound so I'm assuming everything was okay. This is all great - at this point it means I won't need another D&C. Yay.

The doctor also informed me that more of the pathology report is back and now pathology isn't sure if I had a molar pregnancy. This could be excellent news, but it's not definite.

So, currently I am waiting for my doctor to meet with pathology to determine if indeed I had a molar pregnancy. I'm currently still being treated as if I did, so I have another blood test today. If they decide I did not have a molar pregnancy then we would be allowed to start trying for another baby, I won't have to worry about cancer from the pregnancy, I will be released from the weekly/monthly blood draws, and basically everything will be back to normal.

So, I'm waiting. Trying not to get my hopes up.

You know what else? I'm still pretty sad. I feel like the molar pregnancy took our focus elsewhere but the fact of the matter is we still lost a baby and that is still sad.

So there is the update. I will let you know when I know! Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement.

In the meantime, this little Jem (see what I did there?!?) has been a snuggle bunny the last few days and it's been just what I need!